Search This Blog

Sunday, 19 May 2013

Crimes against style

LOB has just watched a film about a famous Mister.  Not the hapless Gatsby, but Baker.  Beware of Mr Baker is a documentary on the career of the fearsome Ginger Baker, famed throughout the 60s as one of best drummers of the age, notably as the third member of Cream with Eric Clapton and Jack Bruce. Back in the day when LOB was in knee socks and Mr LOB still had all his hair, we were huge fans of Cream, never mind that the man on the skins was completely bonkers. Ginger's fame has increased over the decades since- and not necessarily for his drumming. The 73-year old is officially the grumpiest old man in music, as the film confirms. (See his jaw-dropping rudeness in this interview.) While not endorsing downright bad behaviour, it has to be said that one of the more satisfying things that ageing gives licence to is releasing our inner Ginger.  So for this week's post, LOB is abandoning her normally sunny observations and adopting cranky old biddy mode. 'Age-appropriate', in reference to what us grown-ups should wear, is one of those terms that brings out the contrarian in LOB. And yet, there are crimes against style that none of us mid-lifers should commit. Below are your blogger's top ten. Perhaps you disagree?
It's quite safe to comment.
LOB promises not to go all Ginger on you....
  • Finely woven leggings worn as trousers –  notable exception under tunic or long top, but not on their own when every little crease and bulge leaves nothing to the imagination
  • Thongs – especially peeping above waistband of low slung jeans or those see-through leggings
  • Pink track suits - nul points,  but especially if you can't name all the members of One Direction
  • Bare legs in winter – why would you? Just why?
  • Over exposed cleavage coupled with pelmet skirt –  the words ‘on’, ‘the’ and ‘game’ come to mind
  • Leather trousers – even Bonnie (pictured above) has finally bundled them off to the charity shop
  • Leopard print –prefer it on the actual leopard. Still, if you're after a Bet Lynch look...
  • Mother and daughter matching - oh dear, LOB sometimes inadvertently guilty as charged, m’laud
  • Dresses with hems dipped lower at the back and short at the front - there's a reason there are loads of these on the sale rails now. 
  • Double bosom  - the four breast effect under a tight T-shirt from wearing a bra several sizes too small.

No comments:

Post a Comment